OK..well...it's time to focus on what we all must have in 2007. Back in the pre-blog - GASP - days....a dear friend of kitty time's theme was "Lipstick is a must-do in 2002"
What kitty time really loved was that is was a true year-long commitment to one thing, for herself. In 2002, it was about her lips.
And afterall, what is kitty time, if it isn't time to make it about you? Or who am I kidding, MOI?
So, what can I make all about-moi in 2007?
I'm making it the year of paper. We all love paper. Who doesn't appreciate a fabulous notecard, a clever shower invitation or a drop-dead gorgeous return address label?
Sure, maybe only people with kids and dogs send out christmas cards, with the obligatory photo on front (guilty) but if you are a successful gal who has really made it, you must have something fabulous with your name printed on it.
And so, go forth, darlings, into the new year, and purchase yourself something fabulous with your name on it. Pick a design that reflects the real you and bring back the importance of paper. And for any new mom's out there, don't underestimate just how many thank you notes you'll be writing not just for the baby shower gifts, but also for all the gifts you'll get once baby is born. Plan ahead!
To get you started, here are some recommended sites, these are either kitty time's favs or favs of some dear friends of kitty time (therefore each one is fabulous, like moi)
For the gal looking for baby announcements or shower invitations:
www.peekaboopumpkin.com
For fabulous baby announcements, invitations or holiday cards:
http://www.peapodannouncements.com/
For funky and fabulous return address labels or stationary:
http://www.iomoi.com/iomoi.php?page=home
For reasonably priced personalized stationary...with the added perk of supporting a small female owned local business:
www.sweetpicklepress.com
For the gal who can't stop with just her name on something....and must have an image of herself on there too (kitty time is in full support of this, by the way):
http://www.designhergals.com/
Paper it up, dear readers..and if you come upon another fabulous site, be sure to inform MOI.....share the wealth.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Strollers & Obstinate Preggos
Kitty time was just inspired for a second blog entry today after a lovely afternoon coffee break with some dear friends. What a treat for you! It's your Christmas present from Kitty Time. Two of me in one day!
Pregnant woman are fascinating, fun and beautiful. We love them. Many of us were them and plan to be pregnant again. But you can only be preggo for the first time once. Aren't I so smart?
Anyhoo.....there are so many wonderful things about being pregnant for the first time and really, the best part - is how blissfully clueless you really are.
This is nothing to be ashamed of. How can you be any other way? IF you actually knew what you were walking into, you probably wouldn't ever have sex, let alone do it without protection.
And so, the joys of the first pregnancy. All the attention, all the gifts, all the excitement over what the baby will look like and how much you will love the baby and how fabulous life is. Ahh....bliss.
I think the most classic symptom of first time preggos is this - not actually believing that it is what others say it will be..and clinging onto this need to have space in their house and hold onto their old lives. Indeed.
Space.
Old lives.
Actually keeping those two things is like believing your baby won't have stinky drool, won't cry for hours on end, or make you wonder what you got yourself into on some really cranky dark mornings at 3am.
But such is life. Obstinate preggos - enjoy your naive bliss! Here in kitty time, we will only love you for thinking you can keep the space in your house or actually get out to a movie with a newborn, because kitty time was no different when pregnant. Just be sure to come visit kitty time again once you have that sweet babe of yours....
Pregnant woman are fascinating, fun and beautiful. We love them. Many of us were them and plan to be pregnant again. But you can only be preggo for the first time once. Aren't I so smart?
Anyhoo.....there are so many wonderful things about being pregnant for the first time and really, the best part - is how blissfully clueless you really are.
This is nothing to be ashamed of. How can you be any other way? IF you actually knew what you were walking into, you probably wouldn't ever have sex, let alone do it without protection.
And so, the joys of the first pregnancy. All the attention, all the gifts, all the excitement over what the baby will look like and how much you will love the baby and how fabulous life is. Ahh....bliss.
I think the most classic symptom of first time preggos is this - not actually believing that it is what others say it will be..and clinging onto this need to have space in their house and hold onto their old lives. Indeed.
Space.
Old lives.
Actually keeping those two things is like believing your baby won't have stinky drool, won't cry for hours on end, or make you wonder what you got yourself into on some really cranky dark mornings at 3am.
But such is life. Obstinate preggos - enjoy your naive bliss! Here in kitty time, we will only love you for thinking you can keep the space in your house or actually get out to a movie with a newborn, because kitty time was no different when pregnant. Just be sure to come visit kitty time again once you have that sweet babe of yours....
What's Mom Good For?
Kitty time's little daughter changes a warp speed. My husband and I are always amazed at how quickly she grows and develops. What happened to the sweet little newborn that fit from my elbow to my hand? It's fun and exciting to watch and experience.
But sometimes, it's a little bizarre.
Case in point - while my 13 month old has yet to show any noteworthy signs of separation anxiety, much to my relief thus far, when she is tired or not feeling well, she does tend to want moi.
And really, who can blame her?
She knows that I love her and will do anything in the world for her. But wait, there's more.
She knows her mommy loves fashion, has an eye for accessories, generally smells better than daddy, and well, is pretty....so why not prefer moi?
Correct?
Mais oui!
And so..on the occasion that she passes over her dad for moi, I am beaming with pride. I must be doing something right, right? She obviously can still be attached to me even though I'm working full-time? All is well in the world.
Well, dear readers, be careful what you wish for. This seems to be a theme of kitty time.
On Sunday after her morning bottle, which she has graciously shifted to a bit later in the morning as she learns to love to sleep in (read, arise at 7am instead of 5:30am), she was playing.
My husband and I were just relaxing, easing into the morning, when suddenly Kitty Time's dear daughter made her way past her daddy, to moi. Clearly she had a reason. She was a woman on a mission and the end-game was moi.
Ahh..victory again.....the preferred parent, I thought, as my heart swelled as much as possible before having some coffee.
And so, the sweet gal made her way up to my lap, here she was, wanting me...and....then......she puked.
Mais oui!
All over moi.
and her.
Nothing like starting the day off with a real scent of baby. Forget that crap they make you believe on TV about sweet smells and baby powder. This is the real deal.
And so, dear readers, the reason for her trip to moi was clear. She didn't feel well and she wanted her mommy.
Though it might not always smell that great, it still feels good.
But sometimes, it's a little bizarre.
Case in point - while my 13 month old has yet to show any noteworthy signs of separation anxiety, much to my relief thus far, when she is tired or not feeling well, she does tend to want moi.
And really, who can blame her?
She knows that I love her and will do anything in the world for her. But wait, there's more.
She knows her mommy loves fashion, has an eye for accessories, generally smells better than daddy, and well, is pretty....so why not prefer moi?
Correct?
Mais oui!
And so..on the occasion that she passes over her dad for moi, I am beaming with pride. I must be doing something right, right? She obviously can still be attached to me even though I'm working full-time? All is well in the world.
Well, dear readers, be careful what you wish for. This seems to be a theme of kitty time.
On Sunday after her morning bottle, which she has graciously shifted to a bit later in the morning as she learns to love to sleep in (read, arise at 7am instead of 5:30am), she was playing.
My husband and I were just relaxing, easing into the morning, when suddenly Kitty Time's dear daughter made her way past her daddy, to moi. Clearly she had a reason. She was a woman on a mission and the end-game was moi.
Ahh..victory again.....the preferred parent, I thought, as my heart swelled as much as possible before having some coffee.
And so, the sweet gal made her way up to my lap, here she was, wanting me...and....then......she puked.
Mais oui!
All over moi.
and her.
Nothing like starting the day off with a real scent of baby. Forget that crap they make you believe on TV about sweet smells and baby powder. This is the real deal.
And so, dear readers, the reason for her trip to moi was clear. She didn't feel well and she wanted her mommy.
Though it might not always smell that great, it still feels good.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Ghost of Christmas Future
One of kitty time's favorite jokes is to pretend that she has the powers of the ghost of christmas future. A dear friend of kitty time assisted in inventing this game and lots of fun ensued.
So today, kitty time is playing the ghost of christmas future. It seems that what we all want for Christmas is the same. Not diamonds or pearls or cashmere.
We all want a FTW. Kitty time was pleasantly suprised to hear from dear readers who don't have kids - these dear readers had the most enthusiasm for seeking a FTW. Kitty time's first question is to the full-time working moms out there..what say you?
As for the rest of us- apparently we are all seeking a FTW in 2007. But it occured to kitty time - while we don't care what the FTW looks like or how she dresses, for the most part, we want the FTW to be able to do exactly what we do and exactly how we would do it. One caveat occured to moi - this FTW must not do what we do BETTER than we do it!
Now - if you are a dear reader of kitty time, surely you do not think it possible for there to be a FTW out there who could achieve your chores as perfectly, fulfill your shopping duties as cleverly and thoughtfully or finish writing your christmas cards with as much wit and humor as you do. Mais non! Ce n'est pas possible! Quelle horreur! Imagine a FTW who was better than you.
So - the first thing the ghost of christmas future sees for 2007 is that we find a FTW by cloning ourselves!
Think of it as your weekend self - but available at your disposal during the week to just magically get everything done.
What other things would dear kitty time readers like to see for 2007, as the ghost of christmas future?
Don't bore me with things like magical weight loss pills or a perfect wardrobe and trained husbands who get things done without you asking first.....give me some original ideas of things you want for 2007.
Meanwhile, I'm anxiously awaiting my cloned self all wrapped up under the christmas tree this year, I will get her working hard in time to ring in the new year.
So today, kitty time is playing the ghost of christmas future. It seems that what we all want for Christmas is the same. Not diamonds or pearls or cashmere.
We all want a FTW. Kitty time was pleasantly suprised to hear from dear readers who don't have kids - these dear readers had the most enthusiasm for seeking a FTW. Kitty time's first question is to the full-time working moms out there..what say you?
As for the rest of us- apparently we are all seeking a FTW in 2007. But it occured to kitty time - while we don't care what the FTW looks like or how she dresses, for the most part, we want the FTW to be able to do exactly what we do and exactly how we would do it. One caveat occured to moi - this FTW must not do what we do BETTER than we do it!
Now - if you are a dear reader of kitty time, surely you do not think it possible for there to be a FTW out there who could achieve your chores as perfectly, fulfill your shopping duties as cleverly and thoughtfully or finish writing your christmas cards with as much wit and humor as you do. Mais non! Ce n'est pas possible! Quelle horreur! Imagine a FTW who was better than you.
So - the first thing the ghost of christmas future sees for 2007 is that we find a FTW by cloning ourselves!
Think of it as your weekend self - but available at your disposal during the week to just magically get everything done.
What other things would dear kitty time readers like to see for 2007, as the ghost of christmas future?
Don't bore me with things like magical weight loss pills or a perfect wardrobe and trained husbands who get things done without you asking first.....give me some original ideas of things you want for 2007.
Meanwhile, I'm anxiously awaiting my cloned self all wrapped up under the christmas tree this year, I will get her working hard in time to ring in the new year.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
An Endangered Resource
Indeed. This entry is about an endangered resource. No, not furry cute animals frolicking in the snow or melting ice caps.
PLEASE.
You are reading kitty time.....the subject is about, who else, but MOI?
Or rather.......the human parent.
The endangered resource is energy. Physical and Emotional energy.
With parenthood, kitty time discovered pools of energy and efficiency skills she never knew existed. Finding them required tapping into a deep well that quickly started drying up and refueling it requires effort and time.
Where did this alter ego of kitty time come from? What happened to the days of lolly-gagging around stores. Endlessly pursuing the lastest fashion must-have in the malls and boutiques around town. Obsessing over the next 'it' item in shoe ware. Mocking fashion faux-pas among the celebrity elite or poorly dressed unsuspecting individuals on the streets?
Ahh..the days of kitty old....
But not so fast...new kitty time....she is a different kind of animal. Sure..she still cares about these things....but the pool of energy and time from which to care about them and spend on them is different (read: thank god for internet shopping and slow work days)......
But back to the endangered resource. Energy. Kitty time's delightful daughter demands the majority of my energy....which means much less is left over for other causes.
My point - learning how to weed out energy wastes of time is something I have gotten better at.
Sure...kitty time still LOVES to get fired up over a good cause....what's kitty time without claws....but choosing which one to really react to is something that is more necessary now.
And so, kitty time's wise advice to you, my dear readers, is this - whether you are a parent or not - we are all busy. And we'd preserve a lot more emotional and physical energy if we just saved it for when it's really worthwhile. Sure, I urge you all to mock the Administration, get fired up over the latest dumb thing the President said, but particularly with the holidays around the corner and lots of quality family time looming.....take a few deep breathes......lick your paws for a few minutes and decide if it's really worth it for those claws to come out.
PLEASE.
You are reading kitty time.....the subject is about, who else, but MOI?
Or rather.......the human parent.
The endangered resource is energy. Physical and Emotional energy.
With parenthood, kitty time discovered pools of energy and efficiency skills she never knew existed. Finding them required tapping into a deep well that quickly started drying up and refueling it requires effort and time.
Where did this alter ego of kitty time come from? What happened to the days of lolly-gagging around stores. Endlessly pursuing the lastest fashion must-have in the malls and boutiques around town. Obsessing over the next 'it' item in shoe ware. Mocking fashion faux-pas among the celebrity elite or poorly dressed unsuspecting individuals on the streets?
Ahh..the days of kitty old....
But not so fast...new kitty time....she is a different kind of animal. Sure..she still cares about these things....but the pool of energy and time from which to care about them and spend on them is different (read: thank god for internet shopping and slow work days)......
But back to the endangered resource. Energy. Kitty time's delightful daughter demands the majority of my energy....which means much less is left over for other causes.
My point - learning how to weed out energy wastes of time is something I have gotten better at.
Sure...kitty time still LOVES to get fired up over a good cause....what's kitty time without claws....but choosing which one to really react to is something that is more necessary now.
And so, kitty time's wise advice to you, my dear readers, is this - whether you are a parent or not - we are all busy. And we'd preserve a lot more emotional and physical energy if we just saved it for when it's really worthwhile. Sure, I urge you all to mock the Administration, get fired up over the latest dumb thing the President said, but particularly with the holidays around the corner and lots of quality family time looming.....take a few deep breathes......lick your paws for a few minutes and decide if it's really worth it for those claws to come out.
Holiday Spirit
Indeed....I have waited a bit too long to post about holiday fashion, parties, decor, etc etc. My friend Sara's blog inspired me to cover this topic today.
Dear readers....you can choose many paths in this holiday season.
You can just let yourself go and behave like one of the Hollywood tramps we see each night on TV.
You can "forget" to wear your underware.
You can wear a sheer top and "forget" to wear a bra.
You can pull a JLo and pretend that you are going to become a Scientologist so you can get invited to the next TomKat affair.
Hell, you can even drive the wrong way down the interstate after a long night of partying.
But, see, dear lemmings, none of these things get you anywhere good. Unless, of course, you consider all press, good press.
Of course, if you are reading Kitty Time, you probably aren't being followed by the paparatzi..but far be it from me to insult my readers, perhaps you are.....
That aside, I have a few overall comments on holiday parties.
First, you should accompany your spouse or significant other to their office holiday party and you should attempt to charm their boss. Do not embarass them. Do not hit on their boss. Just be charming and lovely, as all kitty time readers are.
You should also go to your own office party and refrain from drinking too much - you might regret what you say later....afterall, if you are a reader of kitty time, you have some moxie.
Now..what should you wear? Always a dilemma for most self-respecting kitty time readers.
I have been very disappointed in holiday party fashion this year. Where is the sequins? Where is the dark green? Why is everything silk and black? Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not looking for a holiday sweater. But what does a gal have to do to find a fabulous green dress? Our options are weak, at best, this year.
If you are digging oldies but goodies out of your closet - just remember - when in doubt, do not wear it. If you have a "hunch" it's a bit more snug than last year, blame the dry cleaner and step away. Do not proceed!
And so..go off, dear readers...into the night and dazzle bosses, wear something classy, keep your underware on, your bra clasped, don't drink too much if you are driving, wear something festive and enjoy kitty time's favorite time of year!
Dear readers....you can choose many paths in this holiday season.
You can just let yourself go and behave like one of the Hollywood tramps we see each night on TV.
You can "forget" to wear your underware.
You can wear a sheer top and "forget" to wear a bra.
You can pull a JLo and pretend that you are going to become a Scientologist so you can get invited to the next TomKat affair.
Hell, you can even drive the wrong way down the interstate after a long night of partying.
But, see, dear lemmings, none of these things get you anywhere good. Unless, of course, you consider all press, good press.
Of course, if you are reading Kitty Time, you probably aren't being followed by the paparatzi..but far be it from me to insult my readers, perhaps you are.....
That aside, I have a few overall comments on holiday parties.
First, you should accompany your spouse or significant other to their office holiday party and you should attempt to charm their boss. Do not embarass them. Do not hit on their boss. Just be charming and lovely, as all kitty time readers are.
You should also go to your own office party and refrain from drinking too much - you might regret what you say later....afterall, if you are a reader of kitty time, you have some moxie.
Now..what should you wear? Always a dilemma for most self-respecting kitty time readers.
I have been very disappointed in holiday party fashion this year. Where is the sequins? Where is the dark green? Why is everything silk and black? Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not looking for a holiday sweater. But what does a gal have to do to find a fabulous green dress? Our options are weak, at best, this year.
If you are digging oldies but goodies out of your closet - just remember - when in doubt, do not wear it. If you have a "hunch" it's a bit more snug than last year, blame the dry cleaner and step away. Do not proceed!
And so..go off, dear readers...into the night and dazzle bosses, wear something classy, keep your underware on, your bra clasped, don't drink too much if you are driving, wear something festive and enjoy kitty time's favorite time of year!
HMW Seeks FTW
Has Kitty-time become a classified, you might be wondering?
Mais non.
Kitty-time just says what's on her mind...and probably on the minds of most others they just don't have the nerve to say it.
HMW = Happily Married Wife
FTW = Full-time Wife
You got it. I'm looking for a wife. And not a slacker wife. Or a complainer. A go-getter. I don't care what you look like, I just want you to be able to anticipate my needs, run all the errands, get all the dry cleaning picked up, finish the laundry, figure out what we're having for dinner, make sure it's defrosted, keep tabs on baby food, make sure we have enough whole milk, get the stamps for christmas cards, keep running list of contractors for house, negotiate with them when necessary, be home when needed for arrival of contractors, etc etc. And most importantly - do these things exactly as I would do them - or better - and never drop the ball on anything. Ever. Never fail me. Let me not have to worry about these things. Just get them done. Quietly. And without ever telling me about it.
How does that sound? Like a job you want?
Some of you might be thinking I am hideous and throwing us back 50 years in time.
But really - have you thought it through?
Doesn't it sound divine?
I am seeking a wife so that I can have more time with my family. So that I can spend the precious little free time I have, with them. Not running around like a fool on the weekends when the baby is napping. Not because I want to become the next female Fortune 500 CEO and am trying to "do it all."
Hell no.
Just to free up some time, relieve me of some stress, and well - so that I don't have to do these things.
I've concluded that all mom's need a wife.
A friend suggested we need a life assistant.
Fine.
Call it what you want.
I am looking for a wife....and will pay her with my gratitude.
Mais non.
Kitty-time just says what's on her mind...and probably on the minds of most others they just don't have the nerve to say it.
HMW = Happily Married Wife
FTW = Full-time Wife
You got it. I'm looking for a wife. And not a slacker wife. Or a complainer. A go-getter. I don't care what you look like, I just want you to be able to anticipate my needs, run all the errands, get all the dry cleaning picked up, finish the laundry, figure out what we're having for dinner, make sure it's defrosted, keep tabs on baby food, make sure we have enough whole milk, get the stamps for christmas cards, keep running list of contractors for house, negotiate with them when necessary, be home when needed for arrival of contractors, etc etc. And most importantly - do these things exactly as I would do them - or better - and never drop the ball on anything. Ever. Never fail me. Let me not have to worry about these things. Just get them done. Quietly. And without ever telling me about it.
How does that sound? Like a job you want?
Some of you might be thinking I am hideous and throwing us back 50 years in time.
But really - have you thought it through?
Doesn't it sound divine?
I am seeking a wife so that I can have more time with my family. So that I can spend the precious little free time I have, with them. Not running around like a fool on the weekends when the baby is napping. Not because I want to become the next female Fortune 500 CEO and am trying to "do it all."
Hell no.
Just to free up some time, relieve me of some stress, and well - so that I don't have to do these things.
I've concluded that all mom's need a wife.
A friend suggested we need a life assistant.
Fine.
Call it what you want.
I am looking for a wife....and will pay her with my gratitude.
It's another media circus
Welcome to the world's greatest show.....no where else on earth can you find such an event.....the slow news day media circus is really something to behold.
I don't know what you were doing when the news broke, but I was in the midst of getting baby ready for bed time and what did I hear?
Glimpses of death?
A change in the Senate?
Republican takeover?
Was it a civil war?
Was there mutiny on Capitol Hill?
How did I miss it?
Oh wait.
That's right.
Nothing has happened yet but our dear national media are bored.
You know, there isn't really anything relevant going on in the world to cover (i.e. Iraq, the lives of the families of the soldiers here, Sudan, the general state of the middle east, anyone hear much about the Balkans anymore?).....no no...nothing is going on...and so we MUST obsessively write off a Senator and discuss the possible new Senate.
Kitty time's claws are out over this one.
Let's all back up, take a few deep yoga breaths and remember that this U.S. Senator is not well...but the man ain't dead.
Instead of hammering the last nails in his coffin, let's respect him, his service in the Senate, his family and give it a rest. Let's stop writing him off as dead and discussing the political implications before we've even heard from the man's doctors.
Honestly, I don't know about any of you, but kitty time is sick and tired of obsessive media speculating.
How about covering some real news?
I don't know what you were doing when the news broke, but I was in the midst of getting baby ready for bed time and what did I hear?
Glimpses of death?
A change in the Senate?
Republican takeover?
Was it a civil war?
Was there mutiny on Capitol Hill?
How did I miss it?
Oh wait.
That's right.
Nothing has happened yet but our dear national media are bored.
You know, there isn't really anything relevant going on in the world to cover (i.e. Iraq, the lives of the families of the soldiers here, Sudan, the general state of the middle east, anyone hear much about the Balkans anymore?).....no no...nothing is going on...and so we MUST obsessively write off a Senator and discuss the possible new Senate.
Kitty time's claws are out over this one.
Let's all back up, take a few deep yoga breaths and remember that this U.S. Senator is not well...but the man ain't dead.
Instead of hammering the last nails in his coffin, let's respect him, his service in the Senate, his family and give it a rest. Let's stop writing him off as dead and discussing the political implications before we've even heard from the man's doctors.
Honestly, I don't know about any of you, but kitty time is sick and tired of obsessive media speculating.
How about covering some real news?
Mommy Brain
We've all heard about it. But guess what - it's real. According to a column in Sunday's NYT, women's brains shrink 8 percent when pregnant and don't return to previous size until six months post-partum.
I would like to say, without any scientific backing, that I do not think they actually ever return to size.
Example - it just took me an hour to figure out how to log in as myself and write a post. Oddly enough, I figured out how to log into the 2004 version of kitty time. Go figure.
On any given day, when exiting the shower, I have absolutely no idea if I rememebered to rinse the conditioner out of my hair.
Should I continue?
Has my brain size shrunk more than 8 percent?
Most likely.
I don't quite need a name tag pinned to my lapel identifying my name and home address, in the event I get lost, but I just might reach that point after having another baby.
Why does this happen, Dr. Kitty Time, you ask?
Medically, this doctor isn't sure.
But you come here because I call it like I see it.
It happens because the brain of a mother moves at warp speed. We have about 20 things on our mind at any given time -
do we have enough food at home for baby's dinner?
did we put the baby in warm enough clothes?
what happens if i don't find another set of overnight diapers before they run out? Double up? Swimmer over the regular?
what in the hell are we having for dinner?
what was i supposed to get done at work yesterday that i completely forgot about and who can i blame it on? probably the new guy.
what christmas presents do i need to return and purchase?
why in the hell did i wear this bizarre outfit to work today?
will my belly ever return to what it once was?
and so it goes.
and so, dear readers, be proud of your mommy brain. it is what it is and is a sign of your new role as mommy.
and for those of you who do not have children...never judge a woman for her mommy brain...karma is a terrible thing.
I would like to say, without any scientific backing, that I do not think they actually ever return to size.
Example - it just took me an hour to figure out how to log in as myself and write a post. Oddly enough, I figured out how to log into the 2004 version of kitty time. Go figure.
On any given day, when exiting the shower, I have absolutely no idea if I rememebered to rinse the conditioner out of my hair.
Should I continue?
Has my brain size shrunk more than 8 percent?
Most likely.
I don't quite need a name tag pinned to my lapel identifying my name and home address, in the event I get lost, but I just might reach that point after having another baby.
Why does this happen, Dr. Kitty Time, you ask?
Medically, this doctor isn't sure.
But you come here because I call it like I see it.
It happens because the brain of a mother moves at warp speed. We have about 20 things on our mind at any given time -
do we have enough food at home for baby's dinner?
did we put the baby in warm enough clothes?
what happens if i don't find another set of overnight diapers before they run out? Double up? Swimmer over the regular?
what in the hell are we having for dinner?
what was i supposed to get done at work yesterday that i completely forgot about and who can i blame it on? probably the new guy.
what christmas presents do i need to return and purchase?
why in the hell did i wear this bizarre outfit to work today?
will my belly ever return to what it once was?
and so it goes.
and so, dear readers, be proud of your mommy brain. it is what it is and is a sign of your new role as mommy.
and for those of you who do not have children...never judge a woman for her mommy brain...karma is a terrible thing.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Stinky Drool
Dear friends of Kitty Time have an adorable and precious baby boy. We met him a few months ago and he is darling......and we were charmed by so many things about him...but what really struck us is that he had stinky drool.
And so we left after the weekend and found ourselves musing over how our precious little girl is such a girl..SHE doesn't have stinky drool....and boys will be boys..so of course THEY have stinky drool.
Right?
Ha ha...we laughed...off into the sunsent.
When will parents ever learn, dear readers? When will they learn?
I am the first to jump on the train to mock other naive parents who think "that won't happen to MOI." Hell, somtimes I drive that train!
These parents think to themselves..Mais Non! Not Moi!
Right.....
YOU have a perfect baby! Your baby will always sleep all night! Your baby will never get messy when eating and throw his/her food all over the ground and your nice work clothes!
Your baby will never grow up and throw a temper tantrum in music class because she does not want to give back the bell she likes to shake (mais oui, it happened to me)
No no...your beautiful sweet baby will NEVER do these things....only other lazy, stinky, sloppy babies do these things.....
I mock those people who believe that about their child.
But yet - I did that.
I laughed about stinky baby boy drool.
And then it happened.
I walked into my daughter's room yesterday after her nap. My beautiful, perfect, sweet, lovely baby girl.
And I was knocked off my socks by a stench.
What was this horrid, lethal killer of a smell wafting out of her beautiful and peaceful nursery? Was it another Russian spy trying to kill me? Or....
Could it be?
Was it possible?
Did she just graduate to STINKY DROOL?
I lifted her up...got a whif of her drooly, moist face....spotted her running nose (yet another cold?) and realized....it happened.....it came full circle....right back to us.....turns out sweet little baby girls can have stinky drool just as nasty as sweet little baby boys. They are equal opportunity droolers.
And my humble lesson for the day?
Whenever you think to yourself "that won't happen to me" (whether you are contemplating having a baby, pregnant or a parent) - guess what, dear readers....
OH..it will.....it absolutely will.
So beware of what you mock.....you'll only get it worse when you mock another.....and even worse..when you think...."it won't happen to me" and ride off into the sunsent......
And so we left after the weekend and found ourselves musing over how our precious little girl is such a girl..SHE doesn't have stinky drool....and boys will be boys..so of course THEY have stinky drool.
Right?
Ha ha...we laughed...off into the sunsent.
When will parents ever learn, dear readers? When will they learn?
I am the first to jump on the train to mock other naive parents who think "that won't happen to MOI." Hell, somtimes I drive that train!
These parents think to themselves..Mais Non! Not Moi!
Right.....
YOU have a perfect baby! Your baby will always sleep all night! Your baby will never get messy when eating and throw his/her food all over the ground and your nice work clothes!
Your baby will never grow up and throw a temper tantrum in music class because she does not want to give back the bell she likes to shake (mais oui, it happened to me)
No no...your beautiful sweet baby will NEVER do these things....only other lazy, stinky, sloppy babies do these things.....
I mock those people who believe that about their child.
But yet - I did that.
I laughed about stinky baby boy drool.
And then it happened.
I walked into my daughter's room yesterday after her nap. My beautiful, perfect, sweet, lovely baby girl.
And I was knocked off my socks by a stench.
What was this horrid, lethal killer of a smell wafting out of her beautiful and peaceful nursery? Was it another Russian spy trying to kill me? Or....
Could it be?
Was it possible?
Did she just graduate to STINKY DROOL?
I lifted her up...got a whif of her drooly, moist face....spotted her running nose (yet another cold?) and realized....it happened.....it came full circle....right back to us.....turns out sweet little baby girls can have stinky drool just as nasty as sweet little baby boys. They are equal opportunity droolers.
And my humble lesson for the day?
Whenever you think to yourself "that won't happen to me" (whether you are contemplating having a baby, pregnant or a parent) - guess what, dear readers....
OH..it will.....it absolutely will.
So beware of what you mock.....you'll only get it worse when you mock another.....and even worse..when you think...."it won't happen to me" and ride off into the sunsent......
Way Forward...to hell?
Ahh..how else to start off a beautiful, warm, sunny Monday morning than with trashing our current President. His idiot "strategists" still seem to think that rhetoric will fool us, the general public.
But Mais Non! Certainly not the brilliant and enlightened readers of Kitty-Time....
And so....here we are. We are going to learn of the President's "Way Forward" sometime before Christmas. Oh goodie..Santa came early in my house because we FINALLY have a DVR..so I will be sure to watch something trashy like E! News Weekend instead of the speech.
But back to the perpetrator of revisionist history and the evil dictator known as the President of the idiot red staters, or the "Red-State-ident"..the man who won with a "mandate from the people" back in 2004 with what, 70,000 votes more than Kerry?
That guy.
So apparently his strategists never got the memo that it is best to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And while that might have worked for the first 6 years of his presidency...Kitty Time says this....it clearly isn't working now because the people actually spoke in November...loud and clear.
And so.....what is happening this week? Ahh yes...the "listening series" or whatever idiotic name they are calling it. The Red-State-ident....is going out and "listening" to other "experts" for their "opinions" on what to do next with Iraq because, you know, the Iraq Study Group didn't abscond to pressure and write exactly what he wanted....
So let me interpret this for you, dear readers.
The Red-State-ident is going to meet with yes-men who would never DREAM of disagreeing with him, he will be told precisely what he wants to hear, and then he will meet with his "strategists" and they will write a speech. That speech will be delivered to us...most of whom will not be listening....and in that speech he will pause awkwardly and look at the camera like a deer, caught in the headlights...as if he has never given a speech before a day in his life. The speech will include lots of rhetoric phrases that the media will grab onto and repeat over the airways over and over again.....and none of it will mean anything.....and nothing will change because no one DARE disagree with the Red-State-ident...and countless more lives will be lost in Iraq.
And so....Kitty Time says.....when will this man learn to actually LISTEN to those who might not agree with him?
Never.
Back to E! News Weekend for kitty time...
But Mais Non! Certainly not the brilliant and enlightened readers of Kitty-Time....
And so....here we are. We are going to learn of the President's "Way Forward" sometime before Christmas. Oh goodie..Santa came early in my house because we FINALLY have a DVR..so I will be sure to watch something trashy like E! News Weekend instead of the speech.
But back to the perpetrator of revisionist history and the evil dictator known as the President of the idiot red staters, or the "Red-State-ident"..the man who won with a "mandate from the people" back in 2004 with what, 70,000 votes more than Kerry?
That guy.
So apparently his strategists never got the memo that it is best to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And while that might have worked for the first 6 years of his presidency...Kitty Time says this....it clearly isn't working now because the people actually spoke in November...loud and clear.
And so.....what is happening this week? Ahh yes...the "listening series" or whatever idiotic name they are calling it. The Red-State-ident....is going out and "listening" to other "experts" for their "opinions" on what to do next with Iraq because, you know, the Iraq Study Group didn't abscond to pressure and write exactly what he wanted....
So let me interpret this for you, dear readers.
The Red-State-ident is going to meet with yes-men who would never DREAM of disagreeing with him, he will be told precisely what he wants to hear, and then he will meet with his "strategists" and they will write a speech. That speech will be delivered to us...most of whom will not be listening....and in that speech he will pause awkwardly and look at the camera like a deer, caught in the headlights...as if he has never given a speech before a day in his life. The speech will include lots of rhetoric phrases that the media will grab onto and repeat over the airways over and over again.....and none of it will mean anything.....and nothing will change because no one DARE disagree with the Red-State-ident...and countless more lives will be lost in Iraq.
And so....Kitty Time says.....when will this man learn to actually LISTEN to those who might not agree with him?
Never.
Back to E! News Weekend for kitty time...
Friday, December 8, 2006
Redefining Nagging
Dear Readers -
When I was a good feminist in college, studying all the ways women are kept down in this world, instead of obsessively reading gossip blogs and rags as I do now, one of the things that struck me the most was language. How language is powerful and there are awful, degrading words to describe women that just do not exist in the English language, for men.
We can all think of what many of these words are without me spelling them out...but I would like to add one to the list.
Nag.
When you hear nag - who do you think of first?
Admitt it, you think of your mother first.
Don't deny this to kitty-time....I just call it like I see it, which is why you love moi.
So now that I am a mother...and a wife....I have a few things to say about this.
Nagging is a man's word. Just like Thanksgiving is a man's holiday.
Nagging exists because of men. Nagging is when you repeat something more than once b/c it didn't get done the first time.
But the question is - WHY didn't it get done the first time?
All of you husbands out there - you know the answer.
Because you didn't FEEL like doing it. Or you weren't in the mood....or my favorite..you weren't asked the right way the first time.
And so, let's redefine the word nag. It is not something awful or annoying or shrill barking in your ear.
It is something that is being repeated again and again by an overworked wife...an overworked mother of your children that she birthed after hours of awful and painful labor.......and it is being said again because you, the husband, are too lazy to do it the first time.
Therefore...nagging is the result of male laziness.....and is a scarlet letter to be worn on the breast of an unhelpful husband, partner, or spouse.
For shame, lazy husband.
I do not have any brilliant solutions on how to avoid nagging...except that I will no longer think of it as an ugly thing that I am doing. Just as the French women do not consider themselves bossy or opinionated, rather, they know what they want.
When you hear yourself nagging.....it is because you know what you want..and you are determined...and will not stop until it gets done.
Go forth and nag, dear readers.
When I was a good feminist in college, studying all the ways women are kept down in this world, instead of obsessively reading gossip blogs and rags as I do now, one of the things that struck me the most was language. How language is powerful and there are awful, degrading words to describe women that just do not exist in the English language, for men.
We can all think of what many of these words are without me spelling them out...but I would like to add one to the list.
Nag.
When you hear nag - who do you think of first?
Admitt it, you think of your mother first.
Don't deny this to kitty-time....I just call it like I see it, which is why you love moi.
So now that I am a mother...and a wife....I have a few things to say about this.
Nagging is a man's word. Just like Thanksgiving is a man's holiday.
Nagging exists because of men. Nagging is when you repeat something more than once b/c it didn't get done the first time.
But the question is - WHY didn't it get done the first time?
All of you husbands out there - you know the answer.
Because you didn't FEEL like doing it. Or you weren't in the mood....or my favorite..you weren't asked the right way the first time.
And so, let's redefine the word nag. It is not something awful or annoying or shrill barking in your ear.
It is something that is being repeated again and again by an overworked wife...an overworked mother of your children that she birthed after hours of awful and painful labor.......and it is being said again because you, the husband, are too lazy to do it the first time.
Therefore...nagging is the result of male laziness.....and is a scarlet letter to be worn on the breast of an unhelpful husband, partner, or spouse.
For shame, lazy husband.
I do not have any brilliant solutions on how to avoid nagging...except that I will no longer think of it as an ugly thing that I am doing. Just as the French women do not consider themselves bossy or opinionated, rather, they know what they want.
When you hear yourself nagging.....it is because you know what you want..and you are determined...and will not stop until it gets done.
Go forth and nag, dear readers.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Seeking Mary Poppins
The wonderful world of childcare is always a hot topic among expecting parents and parents. Kittytime feels that this topic should be addressed today because it seems every time I turn around, someone is emailing about it.
Like labor, everyone has a story.
My first advice would be to tune most of them out. Sure, they are all true. But is kitty-time the only place where drama and exaggeration are as common as lies and revisionist history?
And no, I'm not suddenly trying to segue into a dissertation about our current Administration.
You must believe me dear readers - childcare always works out. And it works out for the best- and you know how? When you listen to your GUT and nothing else.
It doesn't need to be any more complicated than that.
Is there a Mary Poppins out there for you?
Why yes..if you are
Realistic
Nice
Pay well enough
Have a cute kid (if your kid is butt, I'm sorry, but I wonder if you know that as a parent)
And let me repeat.....NICE
You are not going to find a British Governess.
But let's also remember......that education does not make for the most qualified candidate. I cannot speak about caring for older kids b/c well, I'm not there yet.
So - trust your gut and realize that a good caretaker is one that has an emotional IQ. Sure, they have to be smart enough to call the police if necessary, speak enough English to communicate with 911, you get my point.
Trust your gut.
Treat the candidates with respect.
And remember, when you want to lash out at the caregiver, or in my case, feel compelled to fire them because your child smiles at them sometimes and not you, just remember....they are alone with your baby all day long........so put your claws away.
Like labor, everyone has a story.
My first advice would be to tune most of them out. Sure, they are all true. But is kitty-time the only place where drama and exaggeration are as common as lies and revisionist history?
And no, I'm not suddenly trying to segue into a dissertation about our current Administration.
You must believe me dear readers - childcare always works out. And it works out for the best- and you know how? When you listen to your GUT and nothing else.
It doesn't need to be any more complicated than that.
Is there a Mary Poppins out there for you?
Why yes..if you are
Realistic
Nice
Pay well enough
Have a cute kid (if your kid is butt, I'm sorry, but I wonder if you know that as a parent)
And let me repeat.....NICE
You are not going to find a British Governess.
But let's also remember......that education does not make for the most qualified candidate. I cannot speak about caring for older kids b/c well, I'm not there yet.
So - trust your gut and realize that a good caretaker is one that has an emotional IQ. Sure, they have to be smart enough to call the police if necessary, speak enough English to communicate with 911, you get my point.
Trust your gut.
Treat the candidates with respect.
And remember, when you want to lash out at the caregiver, or in my case, feel compelled to fire them because your child smiles at them sometimes and not you, just remember....they are alone with your baby all day long........so put your claws away.
Baby Hair...
Many things have struck me since becoming a mom....I've had many brilliant revelations. But really, why would I revitalize kitty-time with something deep or sappy or about wearing my heart on my sleeve.
Please.
That is not why you love moi or kitty-time.
No, indeed.
One of the most bizarre things that has struck me since becoming a parent..is how people are obsessed with their baby's hair...or lack there of.
How can this be?
Why?
Parents around the world have such little energy to spare..why are they wasting it on feelings towards their child's hair or lack of hair?
And yet, people are obsessed. Including strangers.
Example - and yes, this is a true story. Some of my faithful readers might accuse me of having a flair for the dramatics. Sure, c'est possible..but not this time dear readers....
My sister had my baby in Starbucks with her one day...and a total stranger asked if we dyed our baby's hair?
What?
Huh?
Who does this to a baby?
Be honest. If it is you, please come forward and share with us what you were thinking?
And then...just when I thought it wasn't possible....my hair colorist alerted me to this
http://www.babywigs.co.uk/acatalog/BabyToupee.html
Indeed.
You can purchase a wig for your baby!
If you know your infant's true role model is Donald Trump. Or better yet, Li'l Kim....that is the site for you. Afterall, are there better role models for the leaders of tomorrow?
I will leave the comments and critiques of why we would care so much about something we cannot control whatsoever - whether or not our child has hair - to you. This time, I will refrain.
Please.
That is not why you love moi or kitty-time.
No, indeed.
One of the most bizarre things that has struck me since becoming a parent..is how people are obsessed with their baby's hair...or lack there of.
How can this be?
Why?
Parents around the world have such little energy to spare..why are they wasting it on feelings towards their child's hair or lack of hair?
And yet, people are obsessed. Including strangers.
Example - and yes, this is a true story. Some of my faithful readers might accuse me of having a flair for the dramatics. Sure, c'est possible..but not this time dear readers....
My sister had my baby in Starbucks with her one day...and a total stranger asked if we dyed our baby's hair?
What?
Huh?
Who does this to a baby?
Be honest. If it is you, please come forward and share with us what you were thinking?
And then...just when I thought it wasn't possible....my hair colorist alerted me to this
http://www.babywigs.co.uk/acatalog/BabyToupee.html
Indeed.
You can purchase a wig for your baby!
If you know your infant's true role model is Donald Trump. Or better yet, Li'l Kim....that is the site for you. Afterall, are there better role models for the leaders of tomorrow?
I will leave the comments and critiques of why we would care so much about something we cannot control whatsoever - whether or not our child has hair - to you. This time, I will refrain.
Let's Start off with Mary Cheney
First Dear Readers - I must confess something.
It turns out that I still own the original domain of kittytime.blogspot.com yet my weak memory is preventing me from figuring out how to log into that blog as moi...is anyone really surprised?
So let's roll up our sleeves and catch up......we last discussed the election season of 2004. We all know how that one ended.
So let's instead focus on the fabulous total D takeover in November...and reflect upon the fabulous news that Mary Cheney is expecting her first child this spring.
how fabulous!
how exciting!
How DELICIOUS that one of the most conservative and frightening men in this country....is father to a gay daughther who is having a child out of wedlock.
Perhaps she wants to be married...but what does daddy say about that?
Daddy Cheney......what say you?
Oh sorry..I mean Grandpa-to-be Cheney......let's see what you have to say about this!
Honestly, could Lifetime TV have written a better script?
It turns out that I still own the original domain of kittytime.blogspot.com yet my weak memory is preventing me from figuring out how to log into that blog as moi...is anyone really surprised?
So let's roll up our sleeves and catch up......we last discussed the election season of 2004. We all know how that one ended.
So let's instead focus on the fabulous total D takeover in November...and reflect upon the fabulous news that Mary Cheney is expecting her first child this spring.
how fabulous!
how exciting!
How DELICIOUS that one of the most conservative and frightening men in this country....is father to a gay daughther who is having a child out of wedlock.
Perhaps she wants to be married...but what does daddy say about that?
Daddy Cheney......what say you?
Oh sorry..I mean Grandpa-to-be Cheney......let's see what you have to say about this!
Honestly, could Lifetime TV have written a better script?
It's Back...I'm Back.......
Back by popular demand.....kitty time! Note the new address...www.kitty-time.blogspot.com
I was a fool to have let the original domain name go when I started kittytime a few years ago. But I am back..and better than ever this time.
What has changed, dear readers, fair friends, young lemmings?
Well....much has changed. I am a home owner. With that - a whole host of things to write about. But most importantly....I am a mom...and what better creative inspiration than the daily activities and deveolpments of my baby?
What else is good for a few comments?
Work is always a minefield.
Husbands.....though I can't complain about mine!
And of course....winter fashion is upon us....with holiday parties a must discuss.....
With that, welcome me back, dear readers.
I was a fool to have let the original domain name go when I started kittytime a few years ago. But I am back..and better than ever this time.
What has changed, dear readers, fair friends, young lemmings?
Well....much has changed. I am a home owner. With that - a whole host of things to write about. But most importantly....I am a mom...and what better creative inspiration than the daily activities and deveolpments of my baby?
What else is good for a few comments?
Work is always a minefield.
Husbands.....though I can't complain about mine!
And of course....winter fashion is upon us....with holiday parties a must discuss.....
With that, welcome me back, dear readers.
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